original script by Jeff Fortin & Alexandre Gascon, based on James Thurber's short story.
M = Mitty (Jeff)
R = Renshaw (Alex)
D = Dom (Dominique)
[logo, title screen (various scenes from La Prairie)]
[view of the quiet park, jet passes by]
[while out of the jet]
R: « BlackSnail leader, this is BlackSnail 2-6, do you copy?
M: « BlackSnail 2-6, this is Leader, I have engaged the obnoxious paramethal security lock bolt »
[cockpit view: Mitty]
D: « BlackSnail team, this is Flyer10-4, we're detecting high thermal activity in close range »
R: « Copy. Leader, you got bandits approaching at 14 o'clock! »
M: « Roger that, I'm on them »
[view of the park, shaking like hell, with explosions and such]
[cockpit view: Mitty – sirens start homing]
R: « BlackSnail Leader, you got two bad guys chasing you right on your tail! Evade! Evade!! »
[explosion flash]
M: « I'm hit! I'm hit! »
[jet warning sirens + police sirens + wife screaming + « PULL YOUR CAR ASIDE! »]
[policeman walking slowly by the car window]
D: « What are you thinking! Running away from authority is a felony! »
R: « May I see your driver's license please? »
[Mitty as president]
M: « Do you know who you're dealing with, son? Youre talking to the President of the United States of America! I'm the boss of the boss of your boss, young man! I can get you fired as I wish!! »
R: « Hey pal, I just said to give out your papers! »
[Mitty, embarrassed]
M: « Oh yes, yes, sorry about that! »
R: « Ok, this is the fee you have to pay before the end of the month. Have a nice day. »
[Mitty & D are walking side by side towards clinic]
D: « How come you could do something so ridiculous! You know very well that fleeing and insulting policemen is the least thing you should do when you're exceeding the speed limit! Haven't I told you to slow down? Oh, but my opinion doesn't matter it seems, I'm not important enough! You're just like my poor mother said, you're sweet as a lamb but you can't look straight more than three seconds without killing five innocent people by squashing them wildly with a tracktor! This is terrible! Now that we have more bills to pay than ever, you just go around and get a ticket! Oh, here we are. »
R: « This wasn't the first time you came here, am I right? »
R: « In fact, we had our eye on you for some TIME now Mr. Mitty. It seems you have living.. two lives. In ONE life, you're a respectable looser trying to run a shop of RUBBER DUCKS. The other life is spent in your HEAD. You go with the codename alias 007killmeNOW. You spend your days in DREAMS, barely realising you set your CAT on fire, and overrun twelve police officers. »
R: « One of these lives, has a future. The other does NOT. »
M: « I won't give you what you want, Dr. Smith »
R: « And WHAT do I want? »
M: « You know what you want! »
R: « But do you? »
M: « Shut up! »
R: « I'm afraid I'll have to enoxerate you »
M: « So be it. »
[ultra-fighting with godly speed]
[end of fighting, Mitty wakes up aboard the Nabuchodinosaure ship]
D: « was it smith? »
M: « Huff! Huff! Yes... and he's growing stronger. »
D: « Well get moving, there's trouble ahead, we are being attacked by mechanical-dwarves on the main deck since you've left! Plus, we haven't set the table for dinner yet, and god knows I hate to deceive Captain Kazaa! Oh god I believe there's no more toilet paper in the storage room! What are we gonna do? »
M: « Calm down, take a blue or red pill, and chill it out »
[shaking Mitty]
D: « WHAT!? how can I be chilling! Hey wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Hey! You hear me? »
[back in Renshaw's office]
R: « Hey, you heard me? You understood what I told you? »
M: « Um... yes, yes, as you said uh... »
R: « So, I'll see you again next week, that's okay with you? »
M: « Uhmm of course. »
[outside, Mitty hesistates, and goes back inside. a nurse queries him for an emergency op.]
[patient shaking convulsively on table]
M: « Hmm.. this is serious. Bring me ductape. Three rolls. »
D: « But um, can I have your autograph? »
M: « Sure. Bring me a fountain pen. »
[do comes back with the stuff]
D: « Here you go. »
[signs autograph]
M: « Right. Now, let's fix this aponeurolexia! »
[ductapes the guy]
[gets outside, sees a James Bond styled car (focus-off)]
[james bond's theme, hard cut to a street run, Mitty enters a warehouse]
M: « This is too quiet. Where's the dang soundtrack? »
[a tiny net falls on Mitty, who's trapped, he falls on the floor]
D: « So, Mr Mitty, how's the queen? »
M: « What, you're expecting me to talk? »
D: « Hoho Mr Mitty, I expect you to die! »
[quickly gets a cheese-.....thingy out]
[cheese-....thingy falls noisily on the counter, close-up]
D: « Honey, why don't you help me out with the dishes? »
M: « Baaah, not now, there's something about water underscrewts in the news. »
[front view of the newspapers. They are quickly lowered by Mitty, dressed as a prisonner]
R: « Your time has come. Get up. »
[walking in corridor]
R: « Want anything special for your final meal? »
M: « No time for that. »
[view of a firing squadron]
[pause]
D: « FIRE! »
//End.